Two fat old spinsters sat on the porch
Watching the world go by.
"I'd go to Hawaii," said one to the other,
"If I didn't have this fear to fly!"

The other old maid stroked her fat hairy chin,
And thought long and hard with a strain.
Then turned to her friend with a smile on her face,
And said, "Dear, then just take a train!"

"Don't be silly!" the old woman said to her friend.
"I can't take a train to get there!
These Am-Traks move much too fast for me.
And besides dear, I don't have the fare!"